Let’s just say it: Oklahoma City ain’t got shit to see.
... except maybe Steph & Dave’s sweet country pad.
The number one attraction in OKC is the Oklahoma City National Memorial. There’s no way to know for certain, but we took a guess that our three-year old would not be down for that. So we googled hard for the number two attraction, and never found it.
At a loss for what to do in OKC, we visited the Science Museum, which was recommended to us for kids, and... it was AMERZING! Endless fun! There was a giant indoor treehouse, echo tube, block puzzles by the dozen, a muscle-powered merry-go-round, a miniature air balloon powered by real live fire, a downhill conveyer belt for slinkies, and so much much much more! In three hours, we only saw a portion of the place and we were plum-tuckered. (WTF is "plum-tuckered," right? Well now we know.) It was way pricey -- $60 for our three adults and one child – but worth it for a few hours of pure joy for little Lilz and us, too. (The first thing that caught Lily’s eye, BTW, was the Starbucks sign in the café area. Little consumer bastard.)
We also went shooting at a H&H Sporting, which has over sixty lanes! It was in Deep Deuce, which is a historic area that is revitalizing, and not a place to dump black water, as we had hoped. Jill got to shoot for the first time ever, and tried out Andie’s tiny, adorbs blue Kimber .380, a Sig Sauer Legion P229 9mm, and a Colt revolver .38 Special. Her favorite was the Sig Sauer. She thought shooting was fun, but worried her cocking and aiming skills were not good. Don-Michael reports, though, that she was a good shot. Lily didn’t get to shoot, but she asked plenty of times
The very most best part, though, was our beautiful boondocking spot. ("Boondocking" is usually when you park without any hookups.) On the way to OKC, we realized we needed a place to actually, y’know, park and sleep. So we went on boondockerswelcome.com, where some crazy cray-crays offer to let you stay on their property for free without ever having met you and while knowing you are a homeless, shiftless vagrant. On the site, we found Steph & Dave, who have a house on a small farm. They offered parking, water, electricity, and unlimited petting of five goats, two horses, six hens, two roosters, and one dog. We messaged them, and Steph wrote back in, like, two minutes, and said we could stay. Best day ever!
Dave and Steph were the most amazing hosts in the whole big world. They are retired from the Air Force and have a home with five acres and their adorbs farm, with all the animals described above. They took Lily in right away to feed the horses, pet the goats, and chase the chickens. She was very happy, and even stopped asking to go home. We had dinner with Dave and Steph two out of our three nights with them, and talked late into the night. Don-Michael got to show off his cooking skillz, with pulled pork from our Instant Pot and steaks on the grill.
Lily doesn’t appear to be eating anything, as usual, but she must be sneaking food in the night, because she loves to poop in the RV. How do little kids do that trick, where they make a poop bigger than their arm? We even had to stop at a KOA campground to dump our black water tank. They charged us $20! Just to take a giant poop in their ground! I don't remember Property Law as well as some, or at all, but I'm pretty sure the KOA doesn't even own the the layer of earth where the poopy-peepy slush goes, and therefore have no right to charge us. Luckily, at least, that $20 came with a show, because we have a black water hose attachment that has a window. Lily loved the show. After all her poop ran through, she wanted to see it again. When there was only clear water left, her little shoulders drooped and she became listless.
So, with Lily’s help, it turns out that... OKC does actually have some shit to see.