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How to Choose an RV

How to Choose an RV

Choosing an RV mainly depends on how much money you have and how many people you can convince to travel with you.  Below are the basic types of RV:

 

Class A

You know how you hate your cousins across town, who live in a 4,000 square foot faux-Victorian?  Those asses have one kid and a cat.  It gets all awkward when they run into each other and are startled to realize they have roommates.  That's the Class A.

This is the one that looks like a tour bus chugging down the highway.  It costs from $50,000 (crack house) to millions (those rich a-holes).  A nice one costs $250,000.  You will easily spend, on this quickly depreciating asset, as much as you would on a house.  Oh, and you will get 5-8 miles per gallon.  Do you like the oil industry?  So does the Class A.

But enough about why the Class A is lame.  Here's the upside:  You will be living like the corrupt dictator of a small Eastern European country.  Like Lil' Wayne after The Carter III dropped.  Marble counter tops, full-size everything (refrigerator, jetted bath, washer and dryer, king-size bed, Starbucks), and deep, luxurious black leather sofas.  Your cat will eat out of a crystal dish.  On top of all that, why not tow your Mercedes SLK behind you for cruising the night life?  We might have complained about this Class only because we can't afford it, but probably not.

 

Class B

This is the classic "camper van," i.e. a converted van.  It's Euro-chic.  Euros like it because they don't care about personal space.  Hippies like it because you can make one out of an old VW Bus.  If you have no friends and no family who would ever go on the road with you, this is perfect.  We wish this design worked for us, but we have a fussy midget who follows us around day and night.  She calls herself Lily and claims she is our three-year old daughter, but her cursing skills indicate otherwise.  

These are surprisingly expensive.  A nice one will run $100,000 or more.  And you will have an oven that can only cook one cupcake at a time.  You will also have a "wet bathroom."  This means that you and your toilet and sink all shower together.  Cozy!  Your TV will be the size of my iPhone 6 Plus.  But you will look pretty cool, and you will get 15-25 mpg.

 

Class C

This is somewhere between a Class A and a Class B.  (That makes no sense, right?  Who assigned these letters?!  There's probably a historical answer, but we're too lazy to look it up.)  It costs from $60,000 to $150,000.  Instead of a converted van, these start with a powerful truck front (chassis) and build a trailer over and back from it.  These are nowhere near as large as the Class A, but they can sleep anywhere from 4-10 people.  (The 10 people are required to be exceptionally small and thin, like Olsen Twins.)  

You will still have an oven that cooks only one cupcake at a time, but you can have a shower separate from your toilet, and you might even get a bedroom with a queen-sized bed in the back, so you can ignore your kids for some precious moments.  These get anywhere from 8 to 18 mpg, depending on engine type.  And you can tow a small car, so that you can run around the city in it.

 

Towed Travel Trailer

These are all the ones you can drag behind your truck, van, SUV, or really powerful Honda Fit (think real small trailer).  These can be just about any size and any price, from $7,000 to $80,000.  They can be as basic or as luxurious as your money bags and towing capacity can handle.  These can look trendy like a tear-drop style or an Airstream (silver metal rocket-peeney).  Or they can look like your granny (see insert pic), but still nice inside.    

You can get a lot more space for your dollar here than from the options above, but that's of course because you don't get an engine with this.  That means you don't get a generator that can supply power to your little home, so that you must be hooked up to outside power (unless you bring along a stand-alone generator).   The upside to this type of RV is that, when you're settled down in the RV park or someone's cow field, you can just detach your truck / Honda Fit and go off to explore the city.

Fifth Wheel

This is a trailer built to go over a truck bed.  Up over the truck bed is usually your love shack / master bedroom.  The rest of the trailer is high livin' as well.  But you need a 3/4 ton truck or stronger to pull it.  And it costs more than a regular travel trailer, ranging from $20,000 to $80,000.  And, again, no built-in generator.  But, again on the upside, you can unhitch your monster Texas-style truck and be off to explore the city, as long as it has wide roads.  

 

Toy Hauler

This is a travel trailer, as described above, but with extra space built-in at the back to carry your motorcycles, ATVs, and Sea Doos.  Your RV has a garage!  They cost $30,000 to $80,000.  Again, no generator.  But you can take out your Sea Doo and cruise the town.  The newer ones even have a fold-out deck at the back, capable of housing 7-8 adults for barbecues or shuffle board.

 

Pop-Up Trailer

This is a trailer for poor people.  It's like a fancy tent that you drag behind you.  We have no idea what's really inside these, because who wants to camp?  But if you like to camp, these are outdoorsy, I hear.

A Fool and His RV Money

A Fool and His RV Money